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badgesI no longer feel the need to wait for Wednesdays.

One year ago I shifted my blog energy from WWKD to Wednesday’s Creations Studio.

I posted only on Wednesday and stuck with that commitment until a few months ago when I let myself become overwhelmed with too much to do.

I now realize that I have been withholding energy. Perhaps re-directing it would be a better choice of words. I stored ideas or half written pieces in a folder. I posted on Facebook or Twitter or put the energy in my work places or coursework.

I absolutely love and admittedly need to think like a beginner. New beginnings. Start overs. I have picked myself up and dusted myself off so many times I have lost count. Not that I was counting in the first place. And so I begin again with newfound energy of the day.

I haven’t a clue
Half way through a book of poems
Don’t Miss This
By Jena Strong
Full of energy and discovery
Sharing her heart in mysterious words
I find myself wanting to expand
I want and I don’t want to understand
What inspires me to expand rather than contract?
Yesterday I contracted
I felt less than
I felt why continue
It’s all been done before
I am not unique
Nor do I understand why with all the decades behind me
I still find energy in finding and being unique in my words and my very being
Some days I know how little importance this really is in my life
I understand that whatever I choose to do I am unique
Days like yesterday
Moments really when I shrink
I wonder why I am doing anything
I want to hide like Adam and Eve
Feel exposed found out
No mystery
I am not content
I sit with this loss
Once again Once again Once again
I pick myself up
Dust myself off
And start all over again
Last night I could not see the light
I needed to find it and felt hopeless
I reach out
I made a call to a friend
The brief connection I had reminded me
Of who I am

In spite of my feelings of disillusionment
No epic conversation was had
A connection of me, myself, and I
With “the world” was gifted to me
And I continue once again to
Jump back into this thing called life.

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